Route Preparation Conference Doc_8
. At the end of
Doc_7 we left the track thinking that leads us to understand how the love relationships are uniformly governed by regular reports, comparable to the objective laws on gravity, the laws of dynamics.
The way we behave in their affections, or react in relationships of love and family, it is very predictable. This is because, without that we are aware, our behaviors are based on patterns and beliefs that belong to everyone, as part of the common matrix that sets our behavior.
And we have set ourselves the question: 'Why is encoded in us the belief that love must be earned? Or that still has a price? '
If the parents 'seems' to be paid with guilt. If a partner, or a friend, with the loss of freedom, the ability to hear and follow ourselves.
seems that love must always be tied to any form of suffering. Difficult family lives in the equation: love = joy.
The joy can be more easily found outside the home, in new relationships.
Yet there must be a way out.
In my speech to the Congress 'married life: a way out of need to be loved totally and confidence in what they receive' will try to find the easiest way to get out dall'incastro.
To do need to move beyond.
First we put in motion really when we have the courage to recognize, on a personal level, we can not actually know how to love as we do, and that we do not feel loved as we wish.
The second step is to take leave on a different plane of consciousness, which looks at the situation from a wider perspective. In this vision there is what we experience, together with what we shared a friend, colleague, etc.. It 's a plan similar to that in which we set ourselves when we speak evil of men to women, or women to speak ill of fellow .... Located in a
THERE WE FOUND shared aspects.
This behavior is well known that lack only the plan that we set ourselves when we download frustration by projecting the entire responsibility on the party, we go for the click of pigs in the middle (remember the space for integration between the opposites of male and female polarized Doc_4?) between us and another, between our position as women or men, and the position of the other 'category'.
When we look at the situation from above or from outside, we have the whole picture and begin to see the dynamics of reciprocity. Her mother or mate, gives without limits, expecting to get something sooner or later. He, son or friend, does her best to understand what it will never be him, because he sees is never satisfied and in crisis from inadequate ' so what I do is never good, I might as well not do anything / I'm paralyzed by fear of making mistakes'. And vice versa. He always sees the nervous and hysterical, and no longer holds the load voltage, and tries in every way to protect themselves. She feels increasingly distant and absent, and suffers anaffective, irritated, attacks him. There are many variations, but the impossibility of building a harmonious balance is common, with suffering on both sides. E 'on the joint complex, the traumatic experiences of which we speak Giuliano War.
But there is something in this lack of faith in ourselves to understand and meet happily?
With Reading on the myth of Tristan ed Isotta, cercheremo le radici stesse della sofferenza d’amore, allo scopo di ‘SMONTARE IL MITO’ che ci ha predisposti alla sfiducia. Su un piano inconscio siamo tutti già certi che non avremo mai l’amore e la felicità. E siamo (giustamente) convinti che ‘non è colpa nostra ’ se ci sentiamo destinati a trovare solo sofferenza quando cerchiamo l’amore. C’è qualcosa più forte di noi, che sfugge alla nostra consapevolezza e alla nostra volontà. Tutti noi siamo gli eredi di Tristano, nato nella Tristezza, destinato all’infelicità.
Nel mito di Tristano l’amore è una forza che ci prende e che ci porta, contro la nostra volontà, a diventare schiavi of those we love. It 'an irrational impulse that sends us against ourselves, to betray our values \u200b\u200band what we hold most dear. He takes us to a state where we can not give to be close to that which he or she is both a source of torment and ecstasy. So love and death become mixed, and we do not know no love without suffering.
There seems excessive? E 'away from us as long as we have heard of going crazy for love, or when we want to die without the love of a person, companion, lover, or son? And those who have never heard anything that's for sure that he loved putting himself completely into play?
The need to be loved and to love in a complete, up to say 'serve only and only love' is not so far from our consciousness. What you want is in fact a spontaneous total love.
And if the rule applies to 'water that washes the plant must come from the love your neighbor', we can not be the source of love ourselves that we otherwise would love that ...?
We do not think that so far the imprint of what love was packaged a bit 'bizarre and perverse?
To exit from the cage of awareness of the array must also recognize the presence in us like him. Perhaps we have always been so afraid of suffering for love that we have not left agire in noi. Ma siamo certi che la nostra vita sia piena d’amore, e di aver saputo diffondere realmente amore intorno a noi? Il parere dei nostri compagni, dei figli è sempre spietato e veritiero, ascoltiamolo.
Guadando insieme con sincerità e compassione alla matrice dell’amore passionale che svuota di gusto per la vita, possiamo insieme incominciare a percepirne l’estremismo.
La via d’uscita è sempre in quell’area DI MEZZO tra gli opposti drammatici. E’ nel risveglio da vissuti illusori radicati in noi. Possiamo guardarli, insieme, da una prospettiva di equilibrio e compassione per la sofferenza a cui vogliamo porre fine nelle relazioni familiari, spesso sofferenti e un po’ tormentate.
We can discover the keys of the illusory deceptions. We can say playfully
'Come down from the tree', open your eyes sull'imbroglio collective. Love is something else. It can be experienced in another way.
Love is not an all or nothing. Love does not just come from others. The love we receive can not get everything from one person. Love is not just to a life partner 'ideal'. Man, woman, son, daughter, mother, father, that we love is not and can not be the total source of love that we eat. Otherwise that person on which we stare buy a huge power of life or death for us. And then we are willing to pay any price, even if they have it.
Love flows into a thousand fragments, from different situations, people and situations. Love is not just the love of someone. Love is not a wave, is the entire ocean. When swimming through wave after wave. We can not move, expand, if we have to live only inside a single swim waves. Love is the love of a partner, parent, child, an animal, a drop, a breath of life, a ray of light that opens our hearts to ourselves. All this, all together. Love is never complete, it is always a reflection, a small fragment, partial.
We are no longer babies with eyes only on the mother and her breasts for a living and receive love. There is so much more. Life is really great. So every bit of love is good and meaningful.
If we want to fix one and love from 'that' person, and we'll always suffering.
The Middle Way teaches us to FIND A PERCEPTION OF LOVE LIFE.
Dr. Chiara Sozzi
Therapist of Family Relations
RELATED POST:
- married life: a way out between the need to be loved totally and distrust of love. Dr. Chiara Sozzi - Report to the Congress - First day: I in love relationships.
- Tristan and Isolde
- Documento_4 Energy and Energy male female
- I seeker myself. The different ways in which I can project myself in love relationships - Report of Dr. Julian Guerra
.
0 comments:
Post a Comment